Memoria !!!

Its an emotional spew that I am gonna throw out in this piece...Generally I dont FB.. but when I do , end up closing it within few seconds .. Today I did,,, just now ,, infact... n saw beautiful pics of my Bindra cousins.. lost memories of painful seperation breezed across my mind... We were close.. It was an intimate heart to heart relation I shared with my Miss Bindra cousin, n swashbuckling Mr Bindra ( as I now realise , what exactly swashbuckling refers to , its the perfect word for him...them ! )... Vacationing happened quite often, and mostly in the picturesque mountains of himalyas...It was exciting to make plans overnight for a fun trip.. I still get chillbumps, while thinking about leaving @ 4 in the morning for Haridwar.. to head towards Mussorie ( of which streets have been stick to my mental nerves with a strong adhesive ) .. Her saliva used to stick to my shirt's shoulders when she used to rest her head on mine with an open mouth ( I used to hate it , but could not help, but watch her relax with a belief in me, best sister one could have ).. The oppressive undertone in our voices while leaving the hotel still haunts me to the core, when I realise it no longer could be my experience with Bindra's.. Having a peg of rum in Patnitop and go crazy as betsy bugs is still like an experience of yesterday !! I look back and realise what a tightwad I was and how much I was hated sometimes by Bindra's because of this behaviour.. but this is how I was back then ( My psychology has changed since they extricated themselves from my life.... may be my mind plays games with me saying , if I adopt spendthrift habbits , I might get them back !! ) Once I had this camera that my father bought from Nepal and I was such a crook that I did not click pictures , so the reel should not get over.. I remember being disgusted by Miss Bindra for this.. ( I deserved it !! ) ... its been quite some time,I have been ploughing a lonely furrow , without Bindra's... It was next to impossible for our relation to break !!! My fears materialized...Now its all alone.. Just alone !!! Faiz, once said.. "Life is like a begger's cloak.. with patches of pain stewn on it" ...

Office Office !!!

Writing about an office in the outskirts of Burmudas Triangle, its employees, circumstances, dynamics of idiots trying to make the piece of their pie in the company that is trying to make its own.. Starting with the Program Counsellor, whose job is to counsel those chosen few, who are trying to make something out of their guts in life... There she is.. though an educated graduate from an "A" grade college( that neither of the educated people in the community have heard of ) lying around to the students about how can they benifit with a course of 40k, even if they didn't score 40% in any level of their acedemics.. Excuse me Miss.. Mrs.. watever.. it requires a proper college level education with great deal of analytical skills as well as managerial to work as an O****e professional.. Moving towards a young lady of 23-24 who has been working in the company since the founders of the company were trying their best to launch it... she is one indolent personality that you would ever meet in south India.. though she is happy with it and often boasts about it.. she is the kind of brainless child that would make faces not because she wants to , but does not have anything in her brain to talk of!! Lets move to the Expert of hat that is red... It makes me think of the 6 thinking hats, which makes one very intelligent.. but this red ... hat would make you go bald and tear your hair out by reading about something that is created by some nerd that existed sometime in this world.This is the one who talks about saving data ... deleting data.. then again trying to rescue it !!! WTF ,... why do we talk so much about data all the time.. eventually companies are making money out of saving each others data.. Company A saves the data of Company B.. and Company B saves it of company C.. ( there is a dumb colleague sitting with me who asked me to write SO ON and SO FORTH after the previous line... INTELLIGENT !!! but DUMB !!! and cliche )Anyhow.. this red "hated" man thinks of himself as the king of some dreamy place and talks in authority, while havin no substance inside.. May the insects on the camel infest his armpits ( not a nice man to know.. khushwant singh is great ) ... Movin towards a non-descript trainer who still has the % of child living in himself more than that of an adult.. He thinks of himself as a perfectionist but is in actuality a stubborn cuckoo who is not accepting this reality of life...,. He often hates me.. n so do I .. Towards another trainer in the same field of training ... she is a fickle minded woman who keeps on having mood swing bcz of GOD knows what !!! May her reckless brain be inhabited by peaceful forces .. Then towards an ex-employee who was a short man with little brain and a position he was never able to handle.. All he could ever say was.. "lets try our best guys !! " and then hid himself in a cabin of 4x4 , talking endlessly to his wife about how the wall in their room needs to be painted ( and other things not appropriate for writing on a blog ) ... Another short man who left the organization was a techie who was a kind hearted man ,, but a saying goes , which does not let me believe in people with short height.. "Never trust a man with short legs... his head is too close to his bottom".. and “Yeah, beware the small man... Always beware the small man. He'll fuck you every time. Because they never forget, do they? All that grief they got at school. Over and over, and for the rest of their miserable short-arsed lives, someone's got to pay.”― John Niven, Kill Your Friends ... HEY !! I got a lot of friends with short height.. but isn't true for all.. and here towards this gentlemen who is from the same community as the previous man mentioned was !! His palms are clear .. clean ( not talking about dirt.. but the lines in his hands ) He has "NOTHING" much to do in life and is wandering with an illusionary look that makes one feel comfortable somehow.. he is a plain guy who makes videos of himself jumping from trees and doing pushups in an alieanated park ( and the idiot thinks he is a superstar of some tamilian movie directed by legendary Rajnikant .. fool does not know how much people laugh behind his bak,. I keep on telling him on his face , though !! ) Moving towards a girl from city of Ramoji... She is old... cheesed off with life... writing notes of something that she would never understand in her entire life.. a woman who surfs wikipedia to understand what "Normal Forms" are ... Ma'am... hats off to you... may you excel in redhat atleast.. Off to a long, thin guy who is very good in administering, but whenever asked for some clarification, he redirects the person , by telling them mail to the "HEAD".. No idea which head is he talking about.. Then we have a new .. small.. short.. well dressed guy who does not mind getting plastered off while watching movies in a 3D theatre...He tries to imitate people and sometimes fails to do so... but still forces us to laugh on his act ... he walks on the road as if going to sell this world to the "underworld" All types exist !! ... pigs.. dogs.. horses... cats... rats.. as told by Goerge Orwell in his book titled "Animal Farm"... Nice place to say, but harmful , if you stay more than an years time.. You start getting signals from all sides... get off .. get off.. GET OFF Closing it by a quote "Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind."C. S. Lewis...

Tell the chatter to stop...

Wow.. What a great feeling it is and I hope it stays for eternity... Was drinking water on the other hedge of the staff area... The office's condition is so that that instead of proper tiles or some interior replacements, there are newspaper sticked in there.. Anyhow, while drinking water, came across an article of Srikumar Rao.. An old guy sitting with a smile on his face and looks intelligent.. It was some newspaper that was ere 2012... People were talking about the Mayan's predication of the year ending in 2012.. Economists flaunting their beautiful brains and this gentleman Srikumar Rao sitting .. smiling.. in this turbulent world.. While drinking the water I thought to read what the article was all about.. What caught my sight was the words that were written in the end of it "Peace to you and your. "... I love peace.. err.. piece of my pie that takes away all my peace.. Anyhow.. this uncle was talking about the chatting that goes on inside of one's mind...that's the one factor that decides on how happy or sad you can become... instead of shouting at ur kid.. breathe !!! instead of beating yourself up for having that pizze that you promised yourself not to have... try to restrain before having it.. Just NOTE what you are doing.. don't beat urself up and be an advocate against your own self.. but just note what you are doing and try not to do before doing that thing.. Very inspiring.NOTING ONESELF... It makes me remember of a quote that I read "Real peace of mind is the companion of the silence of the mind"...

Critical Thinking was the agenda

Well.. this morning I was lightening myself up in the loo and was ANALysing things going on in my turbulent life... Came to my brain was a relative with whome there is no longer any relation; a guy who is a swashbuckling sportsman.. a very courageous man for whom any sport was just as easy to play as easy an easy girl is for a playboy... I still miss this guy ( uncle now ) in my life as I thought that if he was still with me at the time when I was growing up, it would have been a much more interesting game play with him, however, in his stead who I got was not a very bad deal.. I was surrounded by many spiritual people whose lives are filled with hope and vigour... Wonder how they maintain it in them in such a disorderly world ? By chanting.. chanting to oneself.. for things to be fine.. hoping against all hopes... Like a mighty river that is ever flowing.. Yesterday I read an article of Shehan Karunatilaka... who is an award winning author of book Chinaman and he said" Eastern Mysticism is no match for Western Professionalism"... Disagreed !!! Eastern mysticism is hugely influencing professional life of people in the east as well as in the west.. People by comprehending that there is something within themselves that cannot be comprehended gives them the power to realise their true potential and there they go.. performing at their workplaces.. tranforming their lives with their blood, sweat and tears... not only that, but doing that for people surrounding them... so it should rather be "Eastern mysticism transforming worldly professionalism"...

My headache

My head aches as I go through the JLF ( Jaiput Literature Festival ) website and the list of speakers that speak in it. The reason for my headache is not the long strenous walk I had in the scorching heat @ 2 pm with the colleague I hate, but because of realising that I covet to write, but do not, for reasons that are not yet being disclosed to my conscience. Reading the authors now make me sick to my stomach and I only do it with the intention of learning a new word or two... ( Regret not learning these words while I was in the infamous NEPS, Mayapuri, which had its reputation not majorly because of great acedemics , but because of teen sex that happened in the gym that was constructed in the basement of our school for reasons other than working out!!! The other reason for my headache is the repressed hate that is still there in my sub-consious brain for people, whom I don't even remember.. As Khushwant singh says: " Unrepressed hate can be a catharsis"... I am looking forward to spew my venom at the people that I hate and I am not ashamed to admitting that.. Thats for now.. My head feels better...

PS: This does not comes from a coherent brain but from the beautiful mind that is scarred with the experiences of the past !!!

viaggio da ricordare... A journey

Hey.. 7:15 am... On the land of Chennai.. Its not different than any other land, with a difference in the attitude of ric drivers... They are notorious man !!! They didn't feel ashamed of robbing me off an amount of some 1200 rupees from Chennai city to Chengalput...I walked to CMTC where buses are aligned with the floor in just the right proportion. If one inch is up or down either the floor would crack or the bus chasis !! Now, moved towards the ticket counter to enquire about the right bus to Chengalput... The lady aunty sitting @ the ticket counter seemed to me very annoyed the very early morning.. I asked her about the bus for Chengalpattu ( this name was what written in the bloody paper I had with myself containing the information about the hotel Kanchi..I thought it would be a nepali hotel.. Kanchi !!! kanchi re kaanchi reee LOLZ ) ... and she signalled me towards a bus that I thought would be required to be towed away rather than being driven and has not been washed since the time India's independence.. Anyhow, I asked her if there is any delux bus I could find , to get informed that I would find one outside this premises... Went out,. no use ,, no delux buses.. so came inside and again inquired her about bus to Chengalpattu , same time conveying her through malicious eye look that her information was wrong.. I think she got it and got more annoyed !!! She irritatingly said: " I told you naaaaaa !!! now the bus is goone !!! wait for some more time.. ( She looked like more of a politician sitting at wrong place rather than what she was ! no malice intend ) Man ! no grudges against her, but why can't people be happy and smiling in their lives .. at least in the mornings ... Life is too short !! Isn't it ? Any how .. sat down at some place and after few minutes went back again to Super aunty to inquire !! This time she was out of her old cabin and was walking like a tigress who has just killed her prey and coming back to the den.. stout chested.. like a starwalt... Anyhow, I got a reply in tamil that I could not understand owing it to the dumb wit and weak lexicon I possess about different languages...! Might she be having a shot gun hidden in the pallu of her green saree she was wearing .. Just I was thinking ill about her a miracle happened.. Super aunty became a miracle aunty and called me up ( ( while I was writing this crap about her.. So bad of me !!! ) ) informing that bus came and I shall depart... So I did.. There is a song that is being played in my year old Nokia phone ( such a comman brand... !!! Damn ) .. This song is : "Jhule laal" by Ali Azmat ( He is lead vocalist of "Junoon" .. remember "Garaj Baras" from the movie "Paap" ) Song goes like this: " Jhule laal.. Jhule lal.. hai zindagi dhamaal.. tu jaane mera haal.. jhule laal .. good rhyming,, but more than that what feeling you get after or while hearing this song is a feeling of surrender or complete conviction in someone or something... If I try and translate the words.. it would be : Life is a turmoil.. you know my state.. jhule lal ...

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE ABOVE B.Stn IN THE PIC IS OF DERBY ;-)

Obsessed with Death.... In a positive way...

Oxford Book of Death

I wrote an article previously that reminds us of our death... It’s a topic people feel so uncomfortable talking about... All I hear, when I touch this topic is, why the hell to talk about death... We know it will come... I say... BLOODY YOU KNOW… BUT WHO THE HELL BELIEVES IT... May be I am sounding a bit cynical, but that is a fact… I pray for long life for all, but it is important to believe that you are going to die and it is best to do good deeds and not to think evil of others… Because... MEMENTO MORI... Remember... you must die...

Alone of the Gods Death has no love for gifts; Libation helps you not, nor
sacrifice. He has no altar, and hears no hymns; from him alone Persuasion stands apart

Following are the words I found... stated by the famous people on their death beds... To me, some looked helpless... some witty... some intelligent and some…. Well, you yourself figure it out…

ARCHIMEDES (212 BC... He was a mathematician, physicist, engineer, inventor, and astronomer… Archimedes died during the Siege of Syracuse when he was killed by a Roman soldier despite orders that he should not be harmed . He said the following words on being ordered by that Roman soldier to follow him):

‘Wait till I have finished my problem.’

BOILEAU (1711):

‘It is a great consolation to a poet on the point of death that he has never written a line injurious to good morals.’

RAMEAU (1764): (to his confessor)

‘What the devil are you trying to sing, monsieur le cure? Your voice is out of tune.’

VOLTAIRE (1778): (as the bedside lamp flared up)

‘What? The flames already?’

But in wiki, it is mentioned that his last words were: "For God's sake, let me die in peace

ADAM SMITH (1790):

‘I believe we must adjourn this meeting to another place.’

BEETHOVEN (1827):

‘I shall hear in Heaven.’

And ‘Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.’

PALMERSTON (1865):

‘Die, my dear Doctor? – That is the last thing I shall do!’

DISRAELI (1881): (Queen Victoria having proposed to visit him)

‘Why should I see her? She will only want me to give a message to Albert.’

GIDE (1951):

‘I am afraid my sentences are becoming grammatically incorrect.’

RALPH VAUGHAN WILLIAMS (in conversation some two weeks before his death in 1958, recorded by Sylvia Townsend Warner in a letter):

‘If I were reincarnated, I added, I think I would like to be a landscape painter. What about you? Music, he said, music. But in the next world I shan’t be doing music, with all the striving and disappointments. I shall be being it.’

JAMES THURBER (1961):

‘God bless… God damn.’

GORONWY REES (1979): (to his son, Daniel)

‘What shall I do next?’

Lady Nancy Astor (When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside)

‘Am I dying or is this my birthday?’

Dominique Bouhours (French grammarian)

I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct.

Joan Crawford (To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud):

Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me.

Thomas Alva Edison (inventor):

It is very beautiful over there.

Douglas Fairbanks (Actor):

I've never felt better.

Ernesto "Che" Guevara (Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier):

I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.

O. Henry (William Sidney Porter, writer):

Turn up the lights; I don't want to go home in the dark.

Louis XIV, (King of France):

Why do you weep? Did you think I was immortal?

Louise (Queen of Prussia):

I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.

Eugene O'Neill (writer):

I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.

This one is smart:

Woody Allen

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don*t want to be there when it happens."

THIS ONE IS BY ME………………..

We do not know, when death would knock the doors of our lives, but one day it will… for SURE...

I know its a bit hackneyed, but view is a view you see... :)