Memoria !!!

Its an emotional spew that I am gonna throw out in this piece...Generally I dont FB.. but when I do , end up closing it within few seconds .. Today I did,,, just now ,, infact... n saw beautiful pics of my Bindra cousins.. lost memories of painful seperation breezed across my mind... We were close.. It was an intimate heart to heart relation I shared with my Miss Bindra cousin, n swashbuckling Mr Bindra ( as I now realise , what exactly swashbuckling refers to , its the perfect word for him...them ! )... Vacationing happened quite often, and mostly in the picturesque mountains of himalyas...It was exciting to make plans overnight for a fun trip.. I still get chillbumps, while thinking about leaving @ 4 in the morning for Haridwar.. to head towards Mussorie ( of which streets have been stick to my mental nerves with a strong adhesive ) .. Her saliva used to stick to my shirt's shoulders when she used to rest her head on mine with an open mouth ( I used to hate it , but could not help, but watch her relax with a belief in me, best sister one could have ).. The oppressive undertone in our voices while leaving the hotel still haunts me to the core, when I realise it no longer could be my experience with Bindra's.. Having a peg of rum in Patnitop and go crazy as betsy bugs is still like an experience of yesterday !! I look back and realise what a tightwad I was and how much I was hated sometimes by Bindra's because of this behaviour.. but this is how I was back then ( My psychology has changed since they extricated themselves from my life.... may be my mind plays games with me saying , if I adopt spendthrift habbits , I might get them back !! ) Once I had this camera that my father bought from Nepal and I was such a crook that I did not click pictures , so the reel should not get over.. I remember being disgusted by Miss Bindra for this.. ( I deserved it !! ) ... its been quite some time,I have been ploughing a lonely furrow , without Bindra's... It was next to impossible for our relation to break !!! My fears materialized...Now its all alone.. Just alone !!! Faiz, once said.. "Life is like a begger's cloak.. with patches of pain stewn on it" ...