Emotions...

Emotions... A topic from "Tuesdays with Morrie"

Why do human beings tend to cling to things.. especially emotions? Why can't we let it go? Why cant we let things be the way they are and just think about changing ourselves rather changing the world? It is generally said.. Change yourself and you would change your world.

Buddhist say.. "Don't cling to things as everything is impermanent".

However, it is very important to mention that we also need to let us feel the emotion fully. It is only after that that we are able to detach ourselves from those emotions. We need to dive into the pool of emotions and then say" OK.. I felt this emotion.. Now I know how it feels. It is time to let it go now." and then just let it leave you. There are a lot of other things that need to be dealt and experienced in life.

Sajda...

Hey, it has been long I have written a blog.. Emotional breakdown left me exhausted, sucking up all my zest and happiness. But things are getting better ( I suppose, I don't know if they are actually, but hope they would soon ).

Why do these emotions exist ? Is it just some chemical flowing in our nervous system or something much deeper, which is out of reach of an average human understanding.

I think I would write a line I heard in a song from "Sajda". It goes like this:

Aankh se door na ho, dil se utar jaayega...
Waqt ka kya hai.. guzarta hai guzar jaayega...

( Don't go away from my eyes, you would get down from my heart... What is of time? It passes and would pass anyhow)

My friend Samresh came to my place when I was emotionaly devastated . He is one strong & wise man on this earth. We talked for hours and he suddenly said these lines. I had this song on my drive, but never bothered to listen to it.

Well, in the state of mind I was, it was natural for me to go through that song once and hear it. A true meaning as it holds, so does the music in it.

When I relate to so many songs in my life, I realise that I am not the only one who suffered from those kind of emotions. There were people before me, who did feel this way and they were intelligent and expressible enough to write it down in their own words.

One more line that I can relate to goes like this ( I am sure a lot of other people could as well) :

Shaam se aankh mein nami si hai...
Aaj phir aapki kami si hai..

( My eyes are wet since dusk... Today again I am missing you... )

"MISSING". Such a small word that has tons of emotions contained within it. This feeling of "missing" someone can suck the blood out of your veins, can be catastrophic, can make you feel like a dead meat, make you lay on the floor for hours weeping in the memory of the one you are missing, can actually make you feel like one of the men who weeps on the television, with a sad song being played in the background. It could be for anyone.. someone dead.. someone alive.. someone far from you.. could be for a relative .. a friend .. a lover.. anyone, but it is one feeling that I pray no one suffers.

Sometimes, I also feel that it could be the mistake of the victim as well. A very wise song goes like this:

Samajhte the magar phir bhi na rakhi dooriyan humne...
chiraagon ko jalane mein.. jala li ungaliyan humne...

We understood everything.. still did not keep the distance.. We burnt our fingers.. while lightening up the lamp...

So, I feel that if we remain a bit cautious, we can prevent ourselves from being hurt by anyone. The best way is not to expect anything and be selfless in a relationship, be it any. If not, then make sure the deal has some sort of gaurantee with it.:) :) :)

Explain... !! What ???

Explanation... What's that supposed to be???

Here I would not say that I am talking about explanation of some concept ( as in studies ). This is strictly confined to generic explanation that people require when their understanding about things fades. I remember a very beautiful set of lines:

Ya Rab! Na vo samjhe hain, na samjhenge meri baat
De aur dil unko, jo na de mujhko zubaan aur

It means neither they understood what I say now, nor would they get it later. Give them the heart to understand what I mean, if not more speech to me.

It is so truly said, because generally people do not even try to understand what one goes through. They have one set mind, which they decide, is the most perfect of theirs in this world. The truth is that it requires a big deal of heart to understand what is going on in the heart of the other person. I don’t say that I am perfect in doing that, but a good try can always be expected. What to do if someone is not even interested in trying to understand what you are trying to say. So, in the end (as it doesn't even matter) it is preferable to follow this:

Never explain....
Friends don't need it, enemies won't believe it...

:) :) :)

Clean it up...

Sorting out the mess...

Let that go.. I would do that tomorrow.. I have a lot of time.. This would take a minute or two.. leave it for now.. "Arre ho jaayega yaar".. That is how a mess is created... could be in a room.. in a LIFE.. or at any place, where such an attitude is followed.

Letting the mess accumulate is no big deal, any cuckoo can do that. The deal eats you up, when you realize that no one else would come and clean that mess up. It is you and only you, who has to do the tedious job.

To be true, I have let things accumulate for me in life. Now when I sit back and try to figure out the way "My room" looks, it is a MESS. I am aware that no one else would come and clean it for me, it is me who needs to get down to clean the dirt up.

I have been doing a lot of downloading lately. I used "Ares" for the purpose. It creates a folder on the computer system, where all the downloaded material gets stored. I used to cut the data ( which was mostly songs and videos) and paste in somewhere on the chip, giving it a wierd name, like "Lateshht material from Ares", " New folder[2]", etc. I just sat and tried to sort it out ( as it became more and more difficult for me to search the song that I wanted to listen ) and I realised what a big mess I have created on my drive. Different folders with different songs of different genres. What am I supposed to do now ? Well, it would take a big deal of time to sort and streamline the stuff. I hope, I would have done it on a regular basis. Things would have been much different. :) :)

Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan...

A talk about USTAD...
I was wondering how talented Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan sahab was, a voice from heaven, that touched the heart of millions. I was watching a video of his ( which was possibly shot in US ) in which two sikh men were sitting just infront of Ustad. It was a state of trance in which these two people ( and others, ofcourse) were. The way ustad sang the qawali, it was mesmerizing. Even a person, who does not like music much, would be able to feel the magic of it. Not just the music, but the lyrics were spell bounding as well. One of the lines, I remember goes as follows:

Zindagi ke safar mein bahut door tak
jab koi dost aaya na humko nazar
humne ghabra ke tanhaiyo se sabaa
ek dushman ko khud humsafar kar liya

Zikra ek bewafaa aur sitamgar ka tha
aapka aisi baato se kya vaasta
aap to bewafaa aur sitamgar nahi
aapne kisliye muh udhar kar liya

I had a muslim friend of mine, whom I had a conversation with,about the sufi music. She had a good knowledge about the significance of these tracks and I learnt a very beautiful thing. Sufi music could be dedicated to 2 entities... One is GOD and the other is your beloved. The beauty is that the lyrics were written in such a manner that they could be dedicated to either of the two.

One of his tracks ( which I must have listened to, more than thousand times) shows the above mentioned fact:

Je tu rab nu manauna , pehle yaar nu manaa
rab man jaanda, yaar nu manauna aukha ae

Now here "yaar" could be your beloved or itself "rab" ( GOD).
That's the way beauty speaks for itself.

One more line that has depth more deeper than that of any deepest ocean:

Loki panj vele ( people five times)
saanu har vele ( ourselves everytime)
yaadan aaiya ( remember you )

How deep love can get for anyone? What intensity can it carry? The qawalis have a lot to say, than I can mention in this space.

First day ( which is not ACTUALLY the first day )

Well, to start off with, this would not be the first blog that I'd be writing. There were several that I started off with and dropped later. However, it seems that this one is going to last much longer than the previous ones.

Firstly, I am packed with much more emotions than what I was previously. Secondly, the first patch explains it all.

"Bolted Thoughts", I wonder why did I select this name. It must have to do something with my psyche for sure. I have been a bit conserved all my life, but it seems its not that good to be conserved in this world. People can misinterpret it as your weak attitude and take you for a ride. Of course, I love rides, but would definitely like to stay away form these types. They can weaken you up.

The only thing that I fear, and hate at the same time is a weak attitude. Its not that I carry one, but because it can be harmful for one who carries it. I read a line: " In this jungle, people take advantage of those weaker than themselves and fawn on those who are stronger". I believe. That is the way it is like.

I realised that there are a lot of things I am interested in and somehow they confuse me over which one to pursue. I love music. Now this short word contains a world in it. Music could be in different languages, different genres, and different countries. There are approximately 6909 different languages spoken in this world, which has 195 countries. I am not that good at permutation and combination, but I am sure that it would result in a huge number.

I keep on hunting for good music from the various resources present on the internet. May be most of my blogs would result in a conversation that talks about music and only music.

I do not know how to plan a good climax. But I am sure people would get to know that I am supposed to leave when I write this. Bye. :)